Saying Good-Bye

I went home one last time to say good-bye to my childhood home, where we settled after leaving Croy Gulch. My parents have moved into town because they're getting older and can no longer live their primitive lifestyle. My sister and I can't believe it finally happened. We never thought we'd see the day when they'd leave this place, let alone give up the life they've always known.

The Gypsy Wagon, slowly being surrounded by the elements.

My mom can't help but water the garden that she loved and cared for all these years.

My dad's beloved boom truck that raised many a log.He won't let the boom truck go, it means too much to him.

I had mixed emotions about going back and it's hard to explain, really. This remote home was a piece of me, mostly a friend, but sort of an enemy. Honestly, it was a really hard place to live and an incredibly lonely place, for me. Inside of me, I was terribly terribly lonely and feeling cut off from the world that I wanted to be a part of, so the land became my friend. I'd hunt for arrowheads, make little villages for imaginary gnomes and fairies out of bark and twigs, and create little play places of my own, where I'd sit and dream of my future life for hours on end. The land was good to me, but I was terrified of never getting away, being stuck in this place that for me was very confining. No phone, no electricity, no running water, no contact with the outside world.

My little playhouse, complete with a door, built against an old log. Inside was a little shelf where I'd place my tiny tin dishes and old prescription bottles, pretending it was the kitchen.

The snag that I'd climb in, sit inside of and dream.

Rock House. I used to take my transistor radio up here and live in my house for the day.

I wondered if, when going back this last time, that I'd be overcome with emotion. But I was okay. I understand my parents choice to have lived the life they did and am thankful for the person I've become because of it.

My dad and me.

My parents live in town now and in a place that in the past they'd never have considered for half a second. It's incredibly amusing to hear them gasp every time they flip a switch to turn on a light or marvel at air conditioning and running water. And every time before they go to the store, they describe that it will take them 10 minutes, there and back, instead of 40 minutes each way. Every time.

Things are still "far-out!", "groovy", "copasetic", and "a real trip". Some things will never change. And that's okay.

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Between posts on my website, I document my life on Instagram. You can follow along with me there as: thefarmchicks

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Comments

[Natalie, the Chickenblogger]

It's fascinating, reading these accounts, which for me are so foreign... so unique.
I grew up with some glimpses of "hippy" culture, and certainly living in ways and places
that were unlike the mainstream... it's interesting, and it's a challenge.
Isn't life amazing? It seems a tremendous blessing... your parents are well, and together, and you have a treasure trove of amazing memories. And here you are... talented and inspired, inspiring, and successful. Your life is a good story... I look forward to future installments.

[Marianne Duarte]

Oh Serena, I loved reading your good-bye tribute to home and to the life that you have such emotional memories with. Thank you so much for sharing it with all of us. What a special treat!
Glad you could be there for them with this major transition in their lives! Luv you dearly, Marianne

[Serena]

Thank you, Natalie. Such kind words. xxoo

[Marla]

I think the Gypsy Wagon could be hauled to WA and be the next focal point for Farm Chicks... where it all began!

[Collette Robbins]

That is a beautiful picture of you and your dad! Love it!

[Lisa Miller]

Serena, this is so touching. Thank you for sharing a very tender moment like this with the world.

[Melin ~ Wren Elizabeth Gifts]

It's hard to say good-bye to places that hold such memories. Remember, each and every moment and experience brought you to where you are...special!
Bet you won't worry about your folks as much. Cheers to their new life!

[Melissa Kaiserman {A Time for Everything}]

This post almost brought me to tears, Serena. It's amazing how looking back at the things that shape us can be so hard and so full of nostalgia at the same time. Really beautiful reflections. And I love picturing your parents' responses to their new modern life. :)

[Victoria Lynn]

What an amazing and unique gift your parents gave you. And you turned into a wonderful and sweet woman who is so open to sharing with the world! We appreciate you and all they have given us!

[Monica]

Serena, I'm so glad you are doing okay. Changes are hard, and changes our parents make, especially from our childhood memories can be hard as well. But your pictures are amazing, and what a blessing that you were able to go back and say goodbye one last time. It sounds like your parents will be living in a much easier place for them at this stage in their life. Thanks for sharing your memories with us :-)

[Shirley H.]

Hi Serena I'm your parents' age. Was a traditional girl that dabbled briefly at hippie life. That your parents lived until retirement with the lifestyle they chose is really impressive. Don't think there are too many of we boomers that didn't sell out by the time we hit 30. Think the world would be a whole lot different if we had tenaciously clung to our values of the environment and social equality. Bully for them!

[Jennifer Wood]

Thank you for sharing this piece of you. I am so happy to have seen the Boom Truck, after knowing how much the thought of it meant to you. Your relationship with your old home is so beautiful and honest. I love that your mom was still watering the garden. I am glad you got the chance to say good bye. Love, Jennifer

[Beth Miller]

I love reading these stories of your life. I remember many of them from past days working together and makes me feel close to you again from far away.... :) What a special trip. And a big part of what made you the wonderful person you are today. Hugs!

[Michael (ishi)]

Just love this post you have published! I see the pride in your fathers eyes and am happy in my own soul for you. Your parents will have forever a place called love embedded into the fabric of our hearts and you are there as well. God bless you!
michael and carmel

[Sweet Life Farm]

As always, simply beautiful and so very touching, Serena. You took me back to the forests and forts of my childhood in Snohomish. Thank you for sharing.

[Tammy]

When I read your stories of your childhood and family love, I must admit I am a bit envious. I was an only child until I was fifteen. I know the ache of that loneliness. My family was not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, but we did have the modern conveniences of running water and electricity. Your stories inspire me to keep reaching for my dreams. I thank you for that, Serena. :) :hug:

[LoriD]

Even for us conventional folks it is always a little bittersweet to say good bye to the place we were raised. Everything, the good, the bad, the ugly, all have memories that make us who we are today. Thanks for sharing this intimate look at your growing up life.

[Dara]

Serena, I hope you are planning to write a book.:)

[teresa]

How sweet that your little playhouse is still standing....it's like a little love note that you left to yourself to find many years later...and remember. =)
I know because I when back to mine.
Thanks for sharing

[Laurie S.]

Your memories of childhood and the life you have created are so inspiring. You should write an autobiography, it is so interesting. I live in Shasta Lake, CA and appreciate the suburban life so much however, there was a time when I thought it stifling. I can't imagine living without electricity and water, though. Your accounts of landmarks in your childhood, forts and getaways where you dreamt of your life to come, fill me with empathy for the loneliness you felt. You are an amazing woman, mother and writer. Thank you for sharing.

[Sylvia]

Beautiful and touching post Serena.

[Erin]

Serena, such a sweet post! My mom just sold her home 2 weeks ago - it's where I grew up since the 4th grade. My sister and I will be meeting up there in a few weeks to help her with an estate sale and pack up the house. Thinking of you and hoping all is well. Did you already take your trip to wine country?

[sue fox golombek]

Such a poignant story. You are a great writer. I had to close my parents house too and while it was not a lifestyle change for them it was still hard. You are a really creative and inspiring person. Thanks again.

[Serena]

Hi Erin,
Oh gosh, I'll be thinking about you when you go to your mom's.
We're headed to Napa this weekend. :)
xxoo

[Serena]

Thank you, Sue. You're very kind. I hope moving your parents went well.

[Serena]

Thank you, Sylvia. xxxooo

[Serena]

Laurie, Thank you so much for your kind sentiments - they mean the world to me.

[Serena]

Teresa, I'm so glad to hear that you got to go back to yours as well. *hugs*

[Serena]

So true.... Thank you, Lori. xo

[Serena]

Tammy, your comments are kind and generous. Thank you for that. I love that you have dreams and am pulling for you that you can make them come true. You can do it!

[Serena]

Thank you. xxoo

[Serena]

Thank you, Michael and Carmel. Mom and dad really enjoyed seeing you this summer.

[Serena]

Thanks, Beth. Love you to pieces.

[Serena]

Thank you, Jennifer. So sweet.

[Serena]

Thank you, Shirley.

[Serena]

Hi Monica, thank you for the love. I hope you're having a wonderful summer.

[Serena]

Thank you, so kind for you to say that about my parents.

[Serena]

Hi Melissa, so well put. Thank you. xxxoooo

[Serena]

Thank you, Melin. Wise words.

[Serena]

Big hug, Lisa. xxoo

[Serena]

Thank you, Natalie, for the positivity and love. xxoo

[Barbara Yankoski]

Serena, loved the story of your folks as they lived the life that cute guy I married and I wanted in 1964 and while we did live in a VW van on the beach on the wildest point of the west coast of Canada for our first married summer, by the time fall set in we were back at school and jobs in the city. Later we did have a small urban hobby farm with children, horses, dogs and chickens and a huge self sustainable garden but by then there was hardly any hippie left in us. Hope your folks find happiness in the city for the rest of their days. Cheers sweet girl.

[Olivia]

Hi Serena,
Your post touched me and clearly all the other people who have commented above me. My parents are the opposite, they have been married for 40 years and had 26 homes. I think thats how they paid for our schooling...bought an old ramshackle place, did it up and sold it...made a bit of cash, paid the schools fees and onto the next one!
My husbands family though, were likes yours: 76miles to the nearest town, no tv, grew their own crops etc. When we got married my hubby said "Darl, we won't be moving like your folks", but already (11 years) we've had 7 homes.
I hope we stay were we are for a while now.
It has been so lovely stumbling upon your blog. I am 33, an Australian wife, mum (3 boys, 1 girl) and artist. My life is crazy busy like yours! You are blessed with 4 boys, can't wait to read more...
Liv xo

[Serena]

Hi Olivia,
It's so nice to meet you. Wow, you have quite a story to tell! I hope you are able to stay where your heart is, however long that may be.
Much love,
Serena

[Julia]

Serena,
What a personal story to share. Thank you. For a lot of different reasons. I found you a while back and I do not get to read you as often as I would like, when I do make it here, it is always very touching for me. That's a great picture of you and your Dad. I had wondered if you were in touch with your parents-
Thanks again for sharing-
Julia

[Robin Foutch]

Serena - I really enjoyed reading about your life growing up and gaining insight of how our situations mold who we are. I grew up the oldest of 9 children and my dad was an industrial arts teacher and my mom stayed home with the children. Needless to say, money was scarce - we made everything from nothing and recycled, reused and repurposed. My mom taught me and my sisters to sew by starting a 4-H club when I was 8 my sister under me was 7 and my sister under her was 6. Once we learned to sew - if we wanted clothes we had to make them. I remember piecing together scraps from a clothing factory to make patchwork fabric for a shirt. My parents encouraged our creativity and in our minds there was no limit to what we could accomplish. I know that life education which started very young in my life has served me well. While we probably would not choose many of our experiences or circumstances we find ourselves in they mold us and shape us into who we are and what we become. They help us to truly appreciate things that others may take for granted. I truly appreciate your gifts of heart that you share with others so freely. I don't know you real well but am grateful to call you a friend. Through your vision you have brought a lot of joy to the lives of many women and created a space that they can be themselves, share and excel. Thanks so much for that gift. Robin Foutch

[karen]

I'd love to here more about you and your family. Like where did u go to school,when did u leave, did u ever have friends over, do your other siblings feel the same. I find learning abut different ways people grew up and or how they live now very interesting. We all have stories. Thanks for sharing hope to here more! Fondly, karen

[Lupe]

Serena, loved your story...I grew up in Southern Texas..my dad was a far laborer and my mom was a stay at home mom. She cooked on a wood stove, washed in a metal tub with a scrub board, and had no running water. I also, learned, early on, how to be self-sufficient...I learned how to take old clothes apart and make a pattern onto old grocery bags...sewing my clothes by hand.....to date, I love to craft, sew, scrapbook, and give old things new life.

[Mary]

Serena, I have followed The Farm Chicks on fb for a while now, but this is the first time I've found your blog. You are such an inspiring writer, and I love your photos and reading of some of your experiences where you grew up. I'm recently retired myself, and told my husband we should head out to WA in June for your big Farm Chicks Sale.